wound tighter than jokes

She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Note: Most of Europe considers the black cat a symbol of bad luck, except for the Scots. The official Urban Dictionary API is used to show the hover-definitions. Holy smokes! The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love. Note: This town would have to be no closer than on the moon. Now, if you have a lot of time on your hands, let me explain. Note: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? "Up & down like a whore's drawers" (refers to a nervous person, up & down) The engines runnin but nobodys driving. Baldwin proposed, but the couple wound up postponing the engagement while still remaining together. Meaning: Common. Note: This phrase is probably nautical from catonine tails, i.e. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. Redneck Stomp Jokes:you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more. Me: "You know who sings that, right?" Vagina jokes are not funny. Sophie sighed with relief and had to control the urge to rub her hand. Approximate rhyme, or slant rhyme, can be a confusing subject, but these slant rhyme examples in poetry will help you understand the concept. I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit." - Leisa Rayven "I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. You will recognize many of the examples of clichs below. Note: Goats glass eye refers to those used in taxidermy. I tried to ease her by saying: Her mom chimed in: "I get it." Squirming like a worm in hot ashes. Yup that stings. Rather than: So scared, the heads in the fridge begin to chant. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. "scarce as hen's teeth" Expectation is the mother of all frustration. Antonio Banderas. Busier then a one legged man in an ass kickin contest!!! I've often heard this one, but I've never understood it? Fact: The accidental invention of corn flakes goes back to 1894 when a group of Seventhday Adventists developed a new food to adhere to their vegetarian diet. ." They come to the fence that they first made love up against. Note: In earlier times, a corncob was used by some for personal hygiene conducted in the outhouse. If I'm the one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who do you think I am fucking rockerfeller'. Relax Your Attention. I used the last one down the club once and the old boy standing next to . Offensive: tighter than a Yorkshireman saving up to be Scottish. Note: The houndstooth fabric is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant. "happier than a pig in shit" Due to the way the algorithm works, the thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms. Tighter. This can be used in either a derogatory or a neutral sense. "more nervous than a whore in church" Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. "face as red as a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time" "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" "Eyes are shit-color brown." Meaning: The answer to How do you want the fence post dug? About 18 down and 60 up. "Shakier than and old coon" Heather Jax. "mouth as dry as popcorn fart" While stab wounds are typically . See more ideas about nursing memes, wound care nursing, wound care. I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself. youre my favorite turd, I wouldnt shit ya. "as loose as a goose" This is simply due to the way the search algorithm works. We invite users to post interesting questions about the UK that create informative, good to read, insightful, helpful, or light-hearted discussions. He makes a small cry. A sweet potato would be a sweet treat. "thigh high to a mule" "don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out" (poor) These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke. "Left high and dry with no pot to piss in." Privacy Policy. Did you hear about the guy that mistook the whiteout bottle for the viagra bottle? Note: The word grace literally means favor In Hebrew. "slow as mud" !. You have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill. Tomas Transtromer Screw the beaten path! It will always get better. Hotty Toddy News is the trusted source for news, sports, and more in the LOU community. Dad,why does that actors wound look so fake? Redneck sayings are fun, but no list of funny redneck sayings would be complete without the ever famous you might be a redneck if sayings. I promise. Note: The houndstooth fabric is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant. A reminder to posters and commenters of some of our subreddit rules, Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits, Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner, Avoid political threads and related discussions, No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content. The Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary. "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra" Day 3: The terrible wound on my leg from the lion attack has all but stopped bleeding. I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about. They do not represent the opinions of YourDictionary.com. 11102008 Im wound up tighter than a wind up toy mechanical presidential candidate a week before re election. Well, Id smack the fire out of em if they acted that way around me. You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with. To conquer the there's not that remains wound up principals jay asher. I've also heard this one: He's as tight as the bark on a tree. You look like something the cat dragged in and the kittens didnt want. Watch for another government funding study on why anyone would want to. You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. Flow tighter than a d..k in the butt. Tighter than a Coffin nail. Were closer than two roaches on a bacon bit. As you've probably noticed, the slang synonyms for "term" are listed above. Thatll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. Youve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. With enough hours of practice, they become clockwork to deliver. Why, its so cold herewe got dogs stuck to fire hydrants all over town. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. He is a contributing writer to HottyToddy.com and actively volunteers his technical, database and social media expertise to several community service organizations in his current home in Morristown, New Jersey and in his home state of Mississippi. 1. "You look like you have been drug through a knot hole ass backwards." You don't want me to close your wound for you? After that she appeared on the VH1 show I Love Money and then wound up on Rock of Love Charm School. Note Researchers from Britain and the US have succeeded in growing teeth in a chicken. Im as confused as a blind lesbian in fish market.. Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens. She chose "Tailor Made" and the two wound up engaged. Rather than: Screamed like an 8th lived mashed cat. Fact: Eel blood is toxic to mammals, but both cooking and the digestive process destroy the toxin. "Can't find his ass with both hands" Note that due to the nature of the algorithm, some results returned by your query may only be concepts, ideas or words that are related to "term" (perhaps tenuously). tightly wound chronically tense, unable to relax, highly reactive My cat is so tightly wound he springs up off the floor if anything startles him, and he startles at the drop of a feather. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape. Youve ever hit a deer with your cardeliberately. soy beans. Dear god can we get a courtesy flush pls Period. "Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a coon dog" I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit. Its quieter than a mouse peeing on cotton. Note: Why do farts smell? Southern Voice:a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet dear. I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no wifi and couldnt find the information I wanted. Meaning: Ostentatious, showy and a bit too flashily dressed. Youre swinging that driver like a washer woman. ""That's good," he says. They rushed the child to hospital when his abdomen became tight as a drum because of the swelling. HT Chat A look ahead to Mississippi State and the NFL Draft wih news in Oxford, 04 13 23 Jeremiah Jean Baptiste Ole Miss Football Media Availability, 04 13 23 John Saunders Jr Ole Miss Football Media Availability, Hotty Toddy Chat Looking Back at Baseball vs A&M, Tornadoes and City News, Stephanie Hickman to Deliver 2023 Commencement Address, Man Who Made Headlines in 2009 After Police Standoff in Grand Oaks Back in Jail, UM Student Selected to Discuss Science Policy on Capitol Hill, Robotic Device Helps Straighten Bone in Pediatric First for Mississippi, Ole Miss Womens Golf Falls to LSU 3-2 in the SEC Quarterfinals, Seventh Inning Rally Helps Softball Even Series With Mizzou, Ole Miss Baseball Falls In Series Finale at Mississippi State, Ole Miss Baseball Drops Game Two to Mississippi State, FNB Oxford Bank Announces New General Counsel, Senior Vice President Post, Reid Sherman Investors Named to Forbes List of Best in State Advisors for Third Year, Paragon Bank Welcomes Helean Davis as its New Banking Center Manager, UM Theatre and Film Closes Season with Classic Little Shop of Horrors, Theatre Oxford Presents Absurd Person Singular, Registration Is Now Open For UM Summer Programs, Official Merchandiser Announced for 2023 Double Decker Arts Festival. Jay Leno Tighter than a straight man's butt cheeks in prison Kim Harrison Calories," Emily said on a sigh. Beginning his career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up in the first Nightmare on Elm Street. He passed in 2004. "Now I know my destiny. He's one of these type A personality guys who's always wound up tighter than a springwears whatever face suits the crowd. She was talking fast at the end. The basic association of the words 'tight' and 'ar$ed' dates back a hundred years. Darynda Jones On average, everyone has read The Da Vinci Code. If you are worried about excessive hair growth on your chest and around the nipples consult a physician to determine the possible cause of your condition and to receive proper treatment. Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that arent. Hes ridin a gravy train on biscuit wheels. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. I've heard "tighter than a duck's arse" and "So tight when they pull a fiver out their pocket the Queen blinks" but what are your favourites? It'll take your mind off of it. The tighter you try to hold on to a Taurus the more they will slip through your fingers. Thats about as useful as a trap door on a canoe. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Michel de Montaigne. Youve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. close as bark on a tree = very close. Meaning: Often used to describe wintery conditions. Do your thing. Note: Also the name of a houseplant (live imitates botany) which has long sharp leaves in an upright habit. ", "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". John Eldredge 5 Likes I kissed her hard and held her tight and tried to open her lips; they were closed tight. "not worth the scrapings off a hound dogs ass" Shes wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist ministers wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. wound down cut out dead-ended quitted knocked off gave over broke down packed (up or in) refrained (from) suspended stalled conked (out) winded down stayed paused desisted (from) laid off (of) abated petered (out) Antonyms & Near Antonyms hung on continued persisted prolonged extended protracted drew out Thesaurus Entries Near wound up wounds Its like saying, I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. Lisa St. Aubin de Tern. Movies from or set in the 1950s and 1960s often show women in baby dolls - usually with their hair wound up in curls and covered by a beribboned nightcap. She asked for ice for some imaginary wound, and as I gave her the ice pack (shaped like a circle with five fingers), she told me, "Thanks, Dad, I just needed a hand. Meaning: Frustrated. The tragic aftermath: 9 wounded, 15 decreased. Wife: sideways look Fact: Mules have denser muscling than horses due to their donkey parent and therefore can carry more and go farther than a horse of the same size. To learn more, see the privacy policy. She has more chins than a Chinese phone book. Wife: sideways look "slicker (or cleaner) than a hound's tooth." "Harder than a Chicken's lips" The roots sigh and release their hold on my waist and the wound in my side is healed. Tighter than a skeeters ass in a nose dive. "Go piss up a rope." Sign up for our weekly newsletters and get: By signing in, you agree to our Terms and Conditions November 14, 2015. When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. "colder than a witches tit" Cant swing a dead cat without hitting a Wal-Mart. "leave a dead dog lie" "Shit or get off the pot." Madder than a one legged woman at the ihop. Meaning: The edge of the world, look out youre going to fall off, far. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns. "Thin as piss on a plank" Jiminy cricket! I wish I had appreciated my youth - I should have worn tighter clothing when I could have! Slower than a herd of turtles stampedin' through peanut butter. Note: Possums eat just about anything they can catch, or that has expired. "Thyme heals all wounds". Jump to: General, Art, Business, Computing, Medicine . Note: Due to blue laws amusement was once banned on Sundays making it a long day indeed. You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup. No guarantees, but maybe, its just about probable, that you will most certainly probably. "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock" A woman with lipstick - "looks like a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time." So tight that he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss. Basic types include stationary toys like soldiers and moving toys like cars and engines and even toys that can be wound-up and that perform some movements like the cymbal-banging monkey, the mechanized robot, and so on. Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor. Fact: Bread has been used since the 17th century to clean the frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Wonder Bread proved to be an especially effective sponge in the restoration of Michelangelos masterpiece. If you have a collection of funny redneck sayings you would like to share you can create your own page offunny redneck sayings or quotes by visiting oursayings and phrases page. ", "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs", "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her", "as busy as a one-armed barber with the hives", "not worth a patch on his (another person's) ass", "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey", "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off. Note: An old recipe goes: roast possum with a brick. Author: Roseanne Barr. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Scarce as deviled eggs after a church picnic. Here are a few redneck sayings shared with us by our guests. I grew up in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia. "lower than a snake in a wagon track" It's interesting that instead of having to get tighter and more restricted for a collaboration, strangely enough, from the beginning, we've actually been more confident that we could handle this. If i had swing like that i would ride it every night. "And the girls can get a meal on, or we'll go eat in the bunkhouse. "acting like a bitch in heat" My wife was afraid of the dark then she saw me naked and now shes afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield. "Colder than a fart in a dead eskimo" "hanging around her like flies on shit" Note: Dodge ball is played the collegiate level in Europe. Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire. "colder than a well digger's ass" So tight that if you stick a lump of coal up his arse a diamond pops out. That would be a tall drink of water. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. Finally, you might like to check out the growing collection of curated slang words for different topics over at Slangpedia. Shes so ugly when she was a baby her mom fed her with a slingshot, Thats harder than a choir boy in a porn shop. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab. However, what we do with it varies from one person to another. Meaning: Something which ruins or spoils everything else; a nuisance or problem; an unpleasant or disagreeable detail. Clay released her. Then Pcloth, Pjacket later a pea coat. Wound Tighter Than Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "Wound Tighter Than" sorted by relevance. Wife: "Yeah, the Police." Or you might try boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (e.g. ", "Workin harder than a funeral home fan in July", "That (plan, idea, action, etc) amounts to about as much as a fart in a The average coefficient of friction of a banana on linoleum was 0.066. They could worry the horns off a billy goat. bae). The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. Mary Connealy, I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. report. So Deaf people may enjoy them too. Speakers in various parts of the US have at times commented they dont know somebody from Adams housecat, Adams brother, Adams foot, and Adams pet monkey. "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" Special thanks to the contributors of the open-source code that was used in this project: @krisk, @HubSpot, and @mongodb. "ugly as sin" While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. She was battin her eyes like a toad in a hailstorm. Note: The g sounds are nearly as funny as k sounds. We are afraid the storm will blow us empty. As the French poet Grard de Nerval said, "The first man who compared a woman to a rose was a poet, the second, an imbecile.". "colder'n a brass monkey's ass" Meaning: just okay, could be good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling. When the possum is done, throw it away and eat the brick. The people, whose enthusiasm was now wound up to the highest pitch, again made the air resound with their loudest acclamations. Stressed almost to the breaking point. Fact: Grasshopper species which change color and behavior at high population densities are called locusts. "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". Note: In the US, the term polecat is sometimes applied to the blackfooted ferret, and loosely to skunks. He pushes her up against the fence and says "You're even tighter than when we first started to date!" Note: A very unpleasant way of saying that someone is excessively suave and polished. Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. Fact: The original Ferris Wheel was designed and constructed by George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. as a landmark for the 1893 Worlds Columbian Exposition in Chicago. At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" ". Martelli Minute Wound Tighter Than a Bobbin Label. suggest new. There is no sley used in this, nor is a shuttle necessary; in the room of the latter a stick covered with thread called singa is thrown into the warp as woof, which is beaten in by a piece of plank called beyno, and as the cloth is woven it is wound up to the roller.

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wound tighter than jokes

wound tighter than jokes